


Her Lips

by chaosfay



Series: Random Gifts Trades and One Shots [3]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Anger, Angst, F/M, Hurt, Obsession, Rage, Regret
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-16
Updated: 2015-03-16
Packaged: 2018-03-18 04:02:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3555323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chaosfay/pseuds/chaosfay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The prompt was Cheiloproclitic - Cullen x female Surana.  I kept it vague because I honestly cannot remember my Surana warden.  Other details were kept vague, but enough for it to be understood.  The majority of this takes place during Origins, and those who played Dragon Age: Origins knows what happened to Cullen if you play a female mage.  This starts out light but gets darker.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Her Lips

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ajir](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ajir/gifts).



She was his charge, and he did his very best to keep that wall between them: Templar and Mage.

It was difficult.

He couldn’t quite figure out exactly what it is was about her that made him so happy.  Every morning he would convince himself she wasn’t the reason he looked forward to his day.  Every night he would remind himself it was inappropriate.

Every day he was thankful for his helm.  It hid his smile, his blush, the fact he watched her mouth when she spoke.

Her lips were dark like her skin, fuller than most, and the corners were naturally upturned.  She always appeared to have a smile on her lips, however subtle.

The way they moved when she spoke, the odd habit she had of chewing the middle of her top lip when reading, and how she could silence one of the apprentices with a look.  Her mouth did that thing; one corner would tighten, an eyebrow raised, and whoever it was directed at would quickly silence themselves.

He had to force himself not to look at her.  He was so easily distracted by the thought of her lips on his, how soft them would be.  What would kissing her feel like? 

The night of her Harrowing was by far the most intense night he had ever experienced at that point in his life.  Her mouth twisted as though in pain, then she looked to be talking to someone, but no sound came out.  He thought things had gone wrong until it was clear they had not.  When she woke the next morning he was so relieved to see her he forgot to put his helm on. 

She was no longer an apprentice, and the relief in her smile could light the dark halls of the tower. 

What he hadn’t expected was her to be so forward.  He wanted to kiss her, but knew it would be unwise.  He had heard stories enough about Mages and Templars, the love, the lust, the cruelty of such affairs.  No, he would keep that wall up.

Then things went wrong.  It was not even a full day after her Harrowing.  Now she was recruited into the Grey Wardens, her only escape from the tower, from his rejection.  He had never seen her frown like that, never seen such disappointment.

Then she was back, but it wasn’t her.  She wouldn’t force her mouth on his like that, nor would she do those things to him.  The demons let loose by the blood mages attacked from every front, and one by one his fellow Templars, his friends, were killed.  He refused to break, refused to bend, and instead prayed.  Over and over again they came, taking her image, her form, and he could feel his willpower draining as they continued their assault.

She returned as a Grey Warden, but he didn’t want to look at her.  The demon had twisted his desire to feel her lips, made him ashamed of his infatuation with her, and he could only feel hate, loathing, and wanted to hurt someone.  Anyone. 

She saved the Circle, rescuing what Mages she could, but he hated her for it.  What if one of them had that Desire demon in them?  The dreams never stopped, the nightmares haunted him, and his rage became overwhelming.  Even after she ended the civil war, killed the Archdemon, and saved both Vigil’s Keep and Amaranthine he still couldn’t come to terms that it wasn’t her.

Ten years later and all he feels is guilt and regret for the way he spoke to her, the way he treated Mages all those years, and the fact he will likely never be able to apologize to her.


End file.
